Mass Effect 3 Goodbyes
by Shadow Wolf Of Ice
Summary: Rated T for sadness and swearing. *SPOLERS* I am making a series that goes into more depth of FShep's feelings about saying goodbye/the death of her crew members and friends. *REVIEWS WELCOME AND ENCOURAGED*
1. Prologue

Being a soldier is bittersweet. You are taught to be fearless, to stare death straight in the face without question since the first day of training. You are expected to be able to deal with death when it happens all around you and to move on without faltering.

Yet you are also expected to never abandon your squad, you are expected to inspire them and form a strong connection of teamwork with them. Most Commanders never reach this level or harmony with their squad, to be close with them but strong at the same time. It's usually one way or another.

Death for soldiers is common. And as a commander I should know that better than anyone. But recently I have been feeling like I was thrown back into the first day of training. I was nervous, unsure if I should really be here, and fearful to lose the friends that I had made. This was nothing uncommon, most soldiers felt this way at first. But Commanders that were expected to lead the galaxy to victory? Definitely not.

I knew when I gathered my team there would be no way that we would all come out of this alive, hell I already had to throw Ashley to those things on Horizon before, and that was only the beginning.

When the Illusive man told me to collect the people on the dossiers, I didn't' just view them as recruits. They became my best friends. I know I shouldn't have gotten so attached to them, sometimes I wish I had just kept all of the relationships I had strictly professional, only talking to them when it was business…But I know that if I did that, my team wouldn't be half as strong as they are now. The bonds we formed are the things that keep us strong. And right now I am feeling like that those bonds are the only things keeping the Reapers from breaking me.

During the suicide mission, I was given a sort of false hope. My whole team survived the mission, the Normandy crew included in this. I was able to save all of the people I cared about then, and escape with hardly a scratch on anyone. That was the first, and last large moral boost I got.

For a few shining moments, I actually thought it might start to get easy, that we could take on anything at all now that he had conquered the collector base. But as soon as the Batarian relay exploded…I was brought back to reality. People were going to die. My friends were going to die. People I loved were going to die. That was just the reality of the situation.

After the Batarian relay I was grounded and everyone went their separate ways…I had no means of contacting any of them. I got reunited with all of them and they all were doing their part to fight against the Reapers. They all seemed fine…Strong as ever.

But something had to give. And I would have to learn how to say goodbye.


	2. Mordin

This was it. The genophage that had plagued the Krogan for thousands of years was finally going to be put to an end. For thousands of years the Korgan had not been able to breed, their whole race was at stake…But now it seemed like that maybe the Krogan would have a chance at a future.

They would repopulate fast, in fact they would probably have to find another planet for all of their new kin just in the first few years or so. Not to mention the anger issues that they had going on…But Wrex had his head on straight. He would make sure the Krogan stayed in line.

It seemed like it was only fitting that Mordin would be the one to make the cure…It was a way of atonement for everything. Besides, he has said it himself many times, it has to be him making this cure. Anyone else would get it wrong.

I smiled to myself. Things were going good and hell that never happened. Sure there was the attempted bribery with the Salarian Commander, the mix up with the tanks, the Turian air raid without ground support, the whole reaper and thresher maw ordeal, but it wasn't really that bad. The Reaper was dead and Mordin was already inside of the tower with the cure.

That tower sure wouldn't last long though…And I really didn't want to be accountable for anyone but myself in there. With the way that place was looking it would be going down in a matter of minutes. Nothing I couldn't handle at this point though…

"Garrus, tell Wrex and the others to get out of here and to a safe distance, you all can't stay here anymore! I'll make sure that Mordin gets the cure distributed and we'll be out soon! Be ready to go as soon as you see us coming" I called out to my squad mate as an explosion came from the tower. I of course wasted no time running towards the tower.

"Alright Shepard…Be careful ma'am" Garrus yelled as I went running off, shaking his head. He knew I always had a way of throwing myself into the most dangeroussituations…He had stopped trying to stop me at this point. He gave the signal to Wrex and they drove off a bit farther away so they would be out of harm's way if the tower was to collapse.

I burst through the front doors to have electrical wires spark and hiss, dangling in front of my face. I waved my hand to clear the way, the air was a mesh of ash and smoke with small bits of smoldering sparks fleeting through the hair. Luckily the ground level was pretty clear…It was up on the higher levels that the supports were starting to fail.

I made my way to the elevator in the corner of the room, punching the highest number that was on there. I knew that you had to ride another elevator to get to the very top level of the tower. But surely Mordin wouldn't be up there without me…He would wait…Hopefully.

The elevator light flickered and I could hear the sound of wires buzzing, cracking, and snapping. Perhaps the stairs would have been a better idea. Just as the elevator gave a stopping lurch, it let out a very out of pitch and unstable ding as it hit the top level. I got out of the death trap deciding that Mordin and I would have to take the stairs on our way back down.

I hadn't even sighted Mordin on the level yet, but we didn't have much time.

"Mordin! Are you gonna be able to distribute the cure?" I asked out into the open room before spotting Mordin across the room at a terminal, trying to get the final elevator open.

It would be just my luck that something would go wrong with the cure now…But I had faith in Mordin. He wouldn't ever let me down, and he wouldn't let the whole race of Krogan down either.

"Yes, everything working as planned, Shepard" he started, not looking up from his vigorous tapping.

"Ha! I don't think I have ever heard those words before!" I walked over to where he was standing. There was a small explosion from behind me, electricity bolts sparking out and the sound of crackling flames from the corner of the room.

"Yes…Well, will still need manual launch, will be going up to top of tower" he said before stepping away from the terminal, the elevator sliding open shortly after.

"Alright let's go we don't have much time left, this whole place is going down" I said before starting into the elevator. Mordin pulled me back though, facing me across from him. He didn't think he would be going this one alone did he?

"You're right. Place will be going down at any time...Galaxy still needs Shepard" he said pausing.

"Me, not so much" he said before smiling ever so softly.

I got a sinking feeling in my chest. I knew I would lose people but…

"Of course they need you! You made the cure and-"And that is all I need. Was supposed to make cure, was what I did. Only I could do it…Anyone else could have got it wrong. Have to go and finish this alone to do it right, Shepard" he smiled at me.

"No, I'll go up with you! You make the calculations, I'll cover your back and then we should still be able to get back to the elevator-"Thank you, Shepard. You gave me a chance to make mistakes right. Thankful you chose me though. Had to be me. Anyone else would have gotten it wrong. Wish I could have run tests on seashells though" he reached into his pocket before pulling out a small object. It seemed to be about the size of a sand dollar.

"Had one just in case, to run tests on…But circumstances show I will not be able to. Run for me Shepard, record results" he smiled at me nodding a few times while placing the flat object in my hand.

I looked at him slightly wide eyed. What was he doing! He wasn't just a Doctor, he was an amazing soldier too! He couldn't just throw his life away like this. I had to stop him! I glared my eyes and went to grab him.

"Mordin I-" I grabbed his forearm and started to speak, but he cut me off before I could say anything.

"My life not for lost cause, Shepard. Remember, cure has to be distributed to win against Reapers" he nodded before taking my hand off of himself self and stepping back into the elevator slowly

"Been an honor Commander. Better go before place collapses" he said before pressing the up button, the doors dinging.

"MORDIN!"

"Goodbye Shepard"

The doors shut before I could say anything more. I gritted my teeth and punched the elevator doors.

"DAMMIT!" I let out a shrill scream that was nearly lost in the sound of the steel bending and snapping, the roar of the flames spreading behind me. I wanted to hit thing and scream some more, but I couldn't right now.

I turned around, knowing that the elevator I came up on would be little more than a death sentence now. I would have to take the stairs…If they weren't already ignited. I ran over to the other side, leaping over one of the metal beams that came crashing down from the ceiling in front of me.

I finally made it to the stairs and bounded down them, nearly tripping over myself a few times. Ugh this wasn't going fast enough I would never make it down! I looked over the edge of the railing. I was about half way there…I would be dead before I made it down unless…

I leapt over the side of the railing, flicking my wrist to form a biotic shield around myself, I tried to mimic what Samara and Liara did when the levitated down from high places.

Mine didn't work as well, seeing as how I landed on my side. I was still alive, nothing was broken and most importantly I could get the fuck out of here. I scrambled to my feet, pushing off with one of my hands and made a straight for the door. I sent a biotic shockwave to the doors with a fling of my arm before raising it in front of my face as the door blew to pieces in front of me. Metal and glass shattered as I ran out, the tower hissing, smoking, and exploding behind my footsteps.

I ran out across the land to where I finally saw the tank, where Garrus, Wrex, Bakura, and Javik were. I waved my arm at them.

"What are you doing! Get in there, this place is going down!" I shouted as I still ran towards them, waving my arm once as a sign to go. Sure they were a far enough distance away, but if that whole thing went up in flames and exploded on the ground, there was no telling what the radius of that explosion would be.

Wrex quickly got Bakura in the tank before getting in himself followed by Javik. Garrus stood outside, waiting for me and waving his arm. I jumped, grabbing his hand as he pulled me inside, closing the door behind me once I got there.

"Shepard where's-"

"He's not coming"

"But Shepard we can't just-"

"GET US OUT OF HERE WREX" I shouted, swinging one of my arms out to the side, not responding to Garrus now.

"Don't have to tell me twice!" Wrex said as the tank roared to life and sped off, Bakura sitting across from Javik with myself and Garrus in the back two seats sitting opposite of each other.

I was still panting heavily as I looked around the tank, a wild, frantic look in my eye for a moment. We bumped over the surface as amazing speeds, surely we were at a safe distance now…But we still had to get to the LZ before any Reapers showed up.

I turned around to look out the window and saw as the tower shot a bright green light out from the top, feeding into the Shroud. An exuberant, wildly, happy smile came to my face as I started to laugh.

"Yes! Ha! Yes we did it!" I said punching a fist to the air.

"Yes! Your Salarian did it Shepard! Our race will flourish now thanks to you! And the name of Shepard will be reserved for only the best of the best warriors, for the heroes!" he declared as everyone in the tank clapped and cheered. I smiled a bit.

"You flatter me" I rolled my eyes a bit at him. I was so caught up in the moment that I actually jumped when I heard the deafening explosion from the area behind us. We all looked back out the windows again to see the tower tilting, slipping. There was another blast of sound as the tower seemed to break right in half, the top part slipping off and hitting the ground in a fiery explosion.

My face fell, and that sinking feeling in my chest came back…Only this time it was accompanied with a bit of shakes. I looked away from the window…He was dead. No emotion became clear on my face for a moment as I finally uncurled my fingers that had been clutched in a death grip around the small object Mordin had given me. I stared at it for a moment before sucking in a breath.

"Garrus, check in with the admiral. Tell him it's safe to go, we're out and they can pull out their fleets. Javik, radio Cortez, get us a shuttle at the LZ" I survived the Reaper's beam, hell we took it down! We cured the genophage that plagued the Krogan for centuries, and we had united the Turian and Krogan forces….But why did this still not feel like a victory?

I felt sick. I felt too hot, dirty, and this knotting feeling in my chest was something that I didn't picture myself feeling after saving a whole race of people…

"You know…Your Salarian friend saved us all…Not to discredit you Commander Shepard" Bakura said. Ah yes, of course the only other female here would be able to read my thoughts.

"No…No you're right…I didn't do anything…Without him this whole operation would have failed. There would be no cure without Mordin" I said. I couldn't bring myself to look at the female Krogan across from me. My eyes were dry; my voice strong as ever. Yet somehow she could sense this weakness within me.

"I plan on naming my first born Mordin if that is of any condolence to you" she said. I nodded once.

"Thanks"

The rest of the ride was filled with Wrex going on and on about his plans. Not that I blamed him, this was almost the equivalent of the Reapers just disappearing all of the sudden, just like the genophage...If only there was a cure they could distribute to just shut down all of the Reapers.

We drove to safety, Wrex saying his goodbyes to me and saying that he would see me on the battle field. I had a final word with Bakura, she was going to go back with the rest of the Krogan women to spread the word and continue her work. It was interesting to finally meet a female Krogan…I never saw too many female aliens around, besides the Asari of course.

It wasn't long before Cortez landed. I knew Wrex was on a high and had a lot to do, so we said a quick goodbye and agreed to at least speak once more face to face before the final onslaught.

I could hear the Krogan voices all cheering, Wrex egging them on to celebrate, breed, but most importantly have my back at all costs. I smiled and gave them a salute and a slight wave before we flew off into the sky while the bands of hundreds, thousands of Krogan started chanting my name like a war cry.

I knew I made the right choice turning down that Salarian ambassador.

Back in the shuttle it was just me, Garrus, and Javik. The farther and farther away from Tuchanka we got, the quieter it got, until all that could be heard was the low rumble of the shuttle. The heroic feeling I just had was leaving me…I wasn't feeling like any kind of hero now.

Wrex lost a lot of troops out there…And sure he didn't seem to care but it was because I didn't expect the unexpected…If I had been more prepared, maybe if we had just prepped a bit longer then maybe Mordin wouldn't be-

"You are going to lose comrades, Shepard. I lost all of mine; you may very well lose all of yours" Javik spoke, seeing me grip at my knees unusually tight.

"Do you take me for a fool Javik?" I snapped at him, my eyes in a glare as I sat there.

"I'm fine, Cortez, radio the Normandy and tell Specialist Traynor to have Admiral Hakett ready for vid com" I said.

"Right away Shepard" he replied. More silence befell.

"…You know if you need to talk Shepard…" Garrus shifted uncomfortably in his seat.

"I am FINE Garrus"

"Okay, okay, just checking Commander…" he said before settling back and looking the other way.

The rest of the shuttle ride was silent until we touched down. The minute we did I was the first one to get off and I made a straight way to the War Room before anyone could say another word to be. I walked in and through without as much as a glance to anyone.

"Is Hakett ready?" I asked into the empty space of the vid com room.

"It will be just a moment" Traynor's voice came into the room just moments before the pixels started to assemble into the image that was Admiral Hakett.

"Shepard! Good to see you in one piece. You made history today…The Krogan will become a stronger race now…I just hope this doesn't come back to bite us in the ass later" he said crossing his arms.

"Wrex is a good leader. Besides, they respect me too. He won't let us down. I am sure of it" I said with a sure nod, leaning forward on the railing, still looking up at him.

"You didn't lie when you knew someone with a cure to the genophage. Mordin was it? I am sure that name will be remembered among the Krogan for years to come. Along with yours of course!" he chuckled.

"Yeah I want people to know that it wasn't just me. We did it together" I said, still keeping my official tone and cracking a light smile at Hakett, though he just still gave me a petrous look.

"Stay strong Shepard. This is only the beginning" he said.

"I know" I pushed back from the railings and stood up straight.

"You stay strong out there too…I'll report when anything new comes up" I said. Hakett nodded.

"Hakett out" he said before turning as the pixels faded away, leaving me in an empty, dark, room. Alone.

I stood there in the dark, vid com room for a moment before exhaling and running my left hand through my hair.

I headed up to my quarters, no one tried to stop me. Even Traynor didn't look back with any news about my terminal as I walked by and into the elevator.

I placed the object that Mordin gave me on my desk. It had left little dents in my right hand from where I had been griping in since he gave it to me. I hoped the sheer force of my grip hadn't damaged it…

I took off my armor and underclothes, standing in my underwear in front of the mirror to survey the damage on my body.

My body was a mess of scrapes, cuts, soot, dust, and blood. It always looked like this though, some kind of giant bruise or scarring across my stomach. What I wouldn't give for nice, clean, undamaged skin. I was a soldier, but I was also a woman…Which meant I was conscious of my looks from time to time, even if it was just for a few seconds.

I jumped into the shower to get the initial grime off and down the drain before walking back out and starting up a bath. I added the bubbles and got in, hissing lightly as the cuts from my body reacted to the sudden soap and water.

I breathed through my teeth as I got used to the feeling in the water before finally settling down, allowing my mouth to slide under the water as I relaxed. I blew some bubbles and closed my eyes as I allowed my body to finally relax. I felt like I earned it this time…Just for half an hour or so. Then I would get back to work…

"_So kinda like Broadway?"_

"_Well the Salarian equivalent of that yes"_

"_You were in Gilbert and Sullivan on the Salarian equivalent of Broadway?" I laughed leaning forward now interested. He stood there for a moment before giving me a slight grin, but yet no reply._

"_I am the very model of a scientist Salarian - I've studied species Turian, Asari and Batarian - I'm quite good at genetics as a subset of biology - because I am an expert which I know is a tautology! My xenoscience studies range from urban to agrarian - I am the very model of a scientist Salarian!" He finished in a crescendo holding his arms out to the side before stopping. He got what I swore was the equivalent of a human blush before standing up straight in front of me, letting out a slight, awkward cough. _

_I laughed a laugh of surprise and utter amusement as well as I clapped wildly. _

"_Bravo! Bravo! Encore!" I laughed happily. He gave a sheepish shrug._

"_Well…I suppose it does beat the Elcor Version of Hamlet" He said rather modestly._

"_Well duh! I mean, come on! That is just 16 hours of Elcor stating their feelings with a bit of old English thrown in" I laughed. And for the first time since Mordin had been on my ship, Mordin laughed. _

"_I suppose so Shepard" he chuckled a bit, smiling now, something I had also never really seen of him since he came aboard. He paused for a moment. _

"_Though it might be fun to go and see…You tend to like to make fun of things…And would be good opportunity to study Elcor behavior in front of large crowds" he said placing one hand on his chin in thought. _

"_You mean you would actually want to go and see that thing?" I laughed a bit. _

"_Would be fun…But watching Elcore for 16 hours? Not the most productive use of time with Collectors stealing humans…No, no, must stay focused. Just silly ideas" he said _

_shaking his head a bit and typing away on his computer. _

"_Well…What if I streamed it on here on a projector on the wall…You could just work with that being background noise" For once he had shown interest in something that wasn't science…And seemed rather excited about it. I wasn't just going to let this thing go!_

"_Would be distracting. Best if you just forget-""How about if I stayed in here with you? We could get the whole crew to come in!" _

"_Thanks for offer….But cannot afford to take breaks anymore." he said. I sighed and let out a slight smile shaking my head._

"_I guess I understand…I can't keep you from your work. And I still have a galaxy to save" I said. _

"_No. We have a galaxy to save Shepard…We're in this together" he placed a hand on my shoulder and I smiled patting his in return._

"_Thanks" I would sometimes forget that I had my crew to back me up._

"_Maybe when everything is over. Maybe when Reapers disappear, all of us can go watch Elcor together" he said smiling._

"_I'm holding you to that" we shook hands smiling at each other._

I opened my eyes with a slight gasp as my nose hit the water. I must have dozed off a bit. I rubbed my head focusing on what I just dreamt about…

Not two seconds later everything finally set in. I was in a fit, letting a slight screech before swinging my arms up out of the water, splashing it everywhere as I grabbed my hair and flung my head back. I smacked my arms back into the water and pushed myself up and out of the water.

I stormed out of the bathroom, kicking my desk still dripping wet with another yell and grabbing the object off of the desk that Mordin had given me. I stormed back into the bathroom, but not before slipping on the slick floor and falling to the ground in a heap. I scrambled so I was at least sitting up and scooted myself over to the bathtub once more, resting myself up over the side of the bathtub and dunking the object into the water.

The dust cleared off with the help of my thumbs rubbing over it in the soapy water. I pulled it up seeing a red shell start to take the place of the previously brown, lumpy rock. I dunked it again and it became more shapely and bright, until finally I was holding a bright red shell, no bigger than half of my pinky finger.

I gripped it in my hand once more and got up, grabbing a pair of black pants and a black shirt and threw them on, my body still dripping wet. I just needed something descent to wear to go down stairs. I got to the third level and headed straight for the medbay where Dr. Chakwas was sitting.

Upon seeing my dripping wet form in her doorway she shot up.

"Shepard! Are you alright!" she asked quickly walking over beside me.

"What is this?" I held the shell up in front of her face. She knew by this point to not continue asking about my personal state when I was clearly on some kind of mission, literal or mental. She gingerly plucked it for my fingers and looked it over.

"It's a Noble Pectan Scallop Shell" she said with a slight smile.

"Where did you come upon this?" she asked, obviously pleased with what I had brought her to look at.

"Mordin" I stated simply. I didn't want to elaborate anymore.

"Ah well that makes more sense…These are only found on the shore of the Salarian home world. And even then they are very hard to come by. They are a symbol that their olden royals used to wear on their finest robes. It was a symbol of courage and strength" she said pausing.

"It is a very nice specimen. Well of course Mordin would only get the best" she chuckled lightly. Even in death he was incredibly smart. He somehow picked up a pile of dirt that just had this kind of shell in it…Of course it wasn't a mistake. Somehow Mordin knew what he was doing…Even now I couldn't figure him out.

"Well…Uh…Thank you Doctor" I said with a nod. Dr. Chakwas' smile faded a bit.

"Commander…I could make this into a bracelet or something if you want. Put it on a string so you could always have it on you" she offered. She was like a mother to me.

"Yeah…Yeah do that. Please" I nodded slowly before heading back out of the medbay….I probably looked like a fool running down here all wet, I couldn't afford to let my team see me like this. I walked back to the elevator and eventually my room, careful not to slip again this time.

There was still an uncomfortable knot in my chest, but in a weird way it was good to know what Mordin left me…I got washed properly, scrubbing the grime from my nails and skin, washing my hair twice and shaving everywhere that needed it.

I got out normally this time, throwing a towel on the ground to soak up the water I splashed out previously, then wrapping one around my hair and the other around my body. I dried off, placing lotion my legs and then put on my dress I liked to wear around the ship. I blow dried my hair before making sure I cleaned up the floor properly.

I applied medigel to all of my cuts, and now to the newly forming bruise on my hip from my fall. I was feeling calmer now. And though there might be a bit of water in the elevator and medbay, there was no real harm done.

I looked at the clock on my desk. My thirty minutes was up…Time to get back at it again. I read through my private messages at my terminal. I got a snippy little message from that female Salarian. I didn't even finish it before moving on to the next one. She was the last thing on my mind right now.

I got in the elevator and headed downstairs back to the galaxy map. I had to be strong now, if they saw their Commander upset there would be no hope for the rest of them. I smiled at Traynor.

"Any news for me" I said in my normal tone of voice

"Oh…Nothing really Commander" she shrugged looking up from her terminal with a soft smile.

"Alright, let's make way for the Hades Gamma then. I think I heard news of some Asari troops being trapped there, we can send a probe down to check their coordinates then get them on shuttle" I said clicking my way through the galaxy map.

"Of course, Commander" she nodded.

I spent the rest of the day running around through the relays, finding for resources and relics that I promised some people back at the Citadel. I never slept much anymore…What with the nightmares and all my time was better spent working than asleep.

I had run the last of my errands on the Citadel and got some good people to have on my side. But now the Citadel was going dark and people were getting ready for bed. I stood outside in the Presidium, looking over the city as the night sky laid over head, the numerous stars twinkling as usual. I was taking a moment before heading back to the Normandy.

Just as I was going to push away from the railing to go, I heard footsteps behind me and turned to see Dr. Chakwas with a bag of her purchases from the Citadel in her right arm.

"It's getting late Shepard" she said. I nodded.

"Yeah, I know I was just getting ready to go back to the Normandy actually…Cerberus is holding Grissom Academy hostage in the Petra Nebula. We have to head there next" I said pushing back from the ledge.

"Shepard…Even you have limits…" she said. I shook my head.

"Not now…I'm not allowed to have limits at a time like this" I said. Dr. Chakwas sighed shaking her head.

"You just come in for check-ups okay? You're only one woman" she said. I paused before sighing a bit.

"No. I'm not. We're all in this together after all" I said.

"Well…You are right about that" she smiled before rummaging around in her purse and pulling out the red shell attached to a golden chain. She placed it in my hand and I examined it carefully at eye level.

"And Mordin is still here watching your back too" she said. I nodded.

"Thanks. This means a lot" I said sitting back on the bench to attach it around my ankle. That was a good place for it, out of the way and completely safe under my armor.

"Well. I have all I need now so…I'll be waiting for you on the ship" she turned slowly and walked away. I smiled to myself and looked out at the horizon, then up at the sky once more before turning and hurrying after Chakwas to the elevator. She looked over as I caught up and we stepped into the elevator at the same time.

"Good to have you with me Commander" she said. I nodded before we both went rather quiet. I subconsciously started to hum that song Mordin sang for me…That fast little melody from Gilbert and Sullivan, the soft humming turning in to little do's until it slowed in the end.

"He was the very model of a scientist Salarian" I finished very softly, a dazed look in my eyes as I looked straight ahead at the elevator door. Chakwas stood there before responding to the little melody.

"That he was"

"….Anything I can do, Shepard?" she asked. I paused before nodding.

"Yes. Tell Joker to make course towards Jon Grissom Academy. I want to be there and ready to go in the next hour" I said as the elevator doors opened and I walked back out onto the Normandy.

Mordin was right. The galaxy still needed me. And that was something that I could never lose sight of. Not now. Not ever.


	3. Thane

I always knew that Thane would die. No, not some sixth sense shit like that. Because of Kepral's disease. The doctors originally told him that he had three months to live, however, that was nine months ago. It seemed despite this condition he was still going strong. He was going so strong that for a while…I forgot that he was dying.

He was a strong, swift, and a cunning assassin. He came with me on nearly all of our missions and he never showed any signs of weakness, no signs that he did in fact harbor that disease. He would mention it from time to time back when we first met, but it wasn't until I confessed my love for him did he start bring it up more.

He always would ask me why I would fall for a doomed man, he would say that I deserved better than someone who was dying. But I couldn't control who I fell in love with. I could control everything but that…And even if I could just turn off those feelings, I didn't want to.

With Thane I felt at home, I felt like a human bein. I felt like I wasn't a Commander that had the galaxy riding on my shoulders. I was just any other normal human being.

After I was back in action with my ship, I visited Thane in the Huerta hospital. The fact that he was now confined to a hospital made this whole thing all the more real. Thane hardly went in for check-ups when he was with me, the most he would do was see Dr. Chakwas. But if he was so bad that he would just let himself stay at the hospital, even he must have finally realized how bad it was.

When I finally saw him, he was paler than I remembered and coughing between every few sentences. He also moved a bit slower from back when he was on my ship. I tried to get him to come back, to do some light weight work on the ship, just to have him back around again. I thought for sure he would agree but, he said that part of his life was over. And he wanted to live out the rest of his life away from all of that. It pained me to see him so…Accepting of what was happening to him.

A part of me wanted to pull him up and shake him to death, to scream at him to wake up, to not just let this disease win!...But then the other part of me understood and was happy he was able to finally be at peace.

In the end, I told him I understood and told him I would visit frequently. I was able to find us some well needed privacy in some vacant room in the hospital. For being nearly on his death bed he still hadn't slowed down _that _much.

After that I would visit him every time I was on the Citadel. Whether it was for just a few minutes or a bit longer, I always tried to make time to see him.

And that was my plan for this time. Meet up with the Council then drop by to see Thane. Maybe I would bring him some good food, that hospital food was horrible! I went up to see Joker in the cockpit as we pulled in, but his brows were furrowed.

"Repeat, this is Jeff Monroe of the Normandy, permission to dock!" he said, tapping his fingers wildly around the transmitter. I arched an eyebrow.

"What's wrong?" I asked leaning over the side of his chair.

"I have requested for docking three times, and I don't get any response! Not even static, just silence. This doesn't make any sense. Even if there were a station malfunction, there would be no way that their back up was down too!" he said.

"Well is it our communicators?" I scratched my head.

"Negative. I have already run analysis on our system, everything is function. Something isn't right Shepard" EDI looked over from her space next to Joker.

"I got a bad feeling about this…I am checking my emergency channels" he said. I nodded and waited.

"Hey this is Joker and-…Uh hu…Yeah no kidding. Commander, there's a communication from Thane, he says it's important" he said looking back over his shoulder and up at me.

"I think you'll wanna hear this" he said after a slight pause and tapping at the controls in front of him. I nodded.

"Patch him through" I said.

"Siha, the Citadel is under attack! Cerberus troops are everywhere and they are in control of the docks" Thane's voice came through the monitor. My eyes widened in surprise. But how! Why! Why would Cerberus attack the Citadel! Wouldn't that just be counterproductive to what they were trying to do? All of these questions running through my head, but I asked the most important question on my mind over everything else.

"Are you safe?"

"No. I had to evade their commandos at the hospital. I'm in the Presidium store front" he responded. He sounded out of breath, his breathing was labored. And that was just from running. I started hearing my heart pound in my ears. No no…He got out okay. If he was able to talk to them then he must be in a place that wasn't flooded with Cerberus Ops.

"What about Kaiden?" I asked. Sure there had been some bad blood between me and him ever since Cerberus returned me back to life, but he was still my comrade and I knew he was there at the hospital with Thane.

"We got separated. He said he had to protect the council…I'm going to C-Sec Headquarters" He responded. I wrinkled my eyebrows. Why was he going there? He should be getting to safety! He was in no condition to fight or things like that.

"Why C-Sec Headquarters?" I asked him.

"It's been compromised and the Citadel depends on C-Sec's response. As long as Cerberus has the Headquarters, they have control of the whole station" he said.

"Alright, Joker, get us away from the docks and to HQ. We'll deploy in the shuttle…Stay safe Thane" I said before starting for the shuttle bay.

"You too, Siha…I will see you soon" he said before it cut out.

I made a straight for the elevator to the shuttle bay.

"Traynor, radio Javik and Garrus. Tell them I need them in the shuttle bay right away" I said, walking into the elevator.

"Right away, Commander" She responded before the door closed.

My team met me down in the shuttle bay, I was already suited up and set to go. We got into the shuttle and I gave them the low down on what I was going on.

"Cerberus attacking the Citadel? Well that doesn't make any sense" Garrus shook his head.

"Fear of Reapers brings about chaos. People will turn to seemingly senseless decisions trying to find a solution. Happened many times in my cycle" Javik said.

"We're here Commander! I can't get you in any closer without taking heavy fire. Be careful, it's a war zone down there" Cortez said. I nodded.

"Thanks Cortez. I'll radio when I need a pick-up" I said as the shuttle opened. Cortez wasn't kidding. I looked down to see Cerberus ops flooding the entrance to the C-Sec Headquarters. The C-Sec officers that were still around the area were getting overwhelmed. I watched at least five fall before I hit the ground and got to cover.

"Spread out everyone! Find cover and don't let them get up close!" I shouted, darting behind one of the knocked over crates. I pulled out my assault rifle and took aim.

We had this system, Garrus would take down the shields, Javik would pull them into the air, and then we would all start shooting like crazy while they were rendered helpless. I would sometimes charge at the Ops if they got too close. With the way I had mastered that power they were usually dead on impact.

We came out from cover, my radar only sensing two more Cerberus Ops up by the door. I came around the side of their cover and dealt a round into them, falling to the ground with not even as much of a grunt.

I went up the stairs to look around for clues of what exactly was going on when I heard a raspy voice.

"Shepard! Ack! Shepard over here!" I recognized the voice as Bailey…But what was he doing here? Wasn't he normally stationed in the embassies? My team and I quickly rushed over to his side.

"Ah Shepard, I thought when you landed that those Cerberus bastards were gonna do you in for sure" he said, sitting up a little, his hand clutched over his side. I smirked a little.

"Well then I guess you don't know me what well then Bailey…What are you doing here?" I asked him. Bailey rolled his eyes a bit.

"Getting my ass shot off trying to retake headquarters, Cerberus took it in the first push. We gotta get them out of there, everyone in C-Sec is flying blind without the network" he said. I went over to help him up while Garrus stepped in the conversation.

"How bad is the situation? Do you know if the councilors are alive?" Garrus asked him. Bailey stood with a little help from me.

"They split up. I'd be able to tell you more if I was able to access the terminal inside" he said.

"Well then think you could get us in?" I asked looking at the door that seemed currently locked. He nodded and limped slightly towards the panel.

"I'll get the door…If no one interrupts me with a bullet this time" he said as his free hand tapped away at the lock. The door let out a dinging noise to signal that it was now unlocked. Javik, Garrus, and I all held our guns up at the ready, going in first to make sure that Bailey wasn't jumped by any hidden Cerberus soldiers. Bailey walked up behind the desk and sat down at the computer. I signaled for Javik to watch the door that we just entered through, while Garrus and I guarded the hallways that were on both sides of the desk Bailey was at.

"Ah here we go, C-Sec network access…Courtesy of Cerberus" he grumbled typing away at the computer. I looked over slightly from the top of my gun to reply.

"How's that going to help?" I asked him, quickly returning my eyes to the hallway in case something was to come.

"Well Cerberus has control of the main channels…But with this access I should be able to set up a new channel…Without this our people have no plan and no chance" he said. I waited a minute longer letting Bailey do his work before he spoke again.

"Hello…" he muttered. I lowered my gun and walked over to him.

"What do ya got?" I asked.

"A warning from councilor Valern…He's supposed to be here meeting with the executor" he tapped a bit more before reading the message.

"Be on guard, the likelihood from betrayal within is high…" he read before shaking his head and looking up at me.

"Not a lot else, but if he's inside…" he said trailing off a bit. I furrowed my eyebrows.

"Why would the councilor be meeting with the executor?" I asked.

"Usually it means that someone big is about to be prosecuted" he looked back to the monitor before continuing.

"I guess that someone has Cerberus friends…" he muttered. Garrus turned from the hallway he was looking at to contribute.

"The councilor mentioned Udina…But that's insane…" Garrus said in thought. Bailey shrugged.

"Well you know who'd have an answer to that? The councilor" he said with a certain nod. I thought on this for a moment…I needed the councilor alive so he could tell me what was going on. Even if I couldn't find the others, I could still launch a rescue for this one.

"One councilor is better than zero. Where am headed?" I asked. I had to get a move on now if I wanted that councilor alive.

"He could be in the executor's office. It is a fairly defensible position" Garrus suggested, stepping up.

"Well then I'm on it" I said turning and starting to walk away.

"Just a sec!" Bailey stopped me. Oh please! What else could there be? I had to get going, there wasn't any time to waste here. Still all the same I paused when Bailey called out to me. I turned to see him tap at his omni-tool and mine lit up as well.

"There now we can talk by omni-tool, now go!" he said. I nodded. About time! I readied my gun once more and my team assembled behind me as I started down the hallway. I noticed I had another channel coming through on my omni-tool. That's right! Thane must be connected too!

"Thane did you get all that?" I asked him as I headed down the hallway.

"Yes, I am nearing the building but running is difficult. I'll try to get to you, Siha" he said. His breathing sounded labored, harsh. Just a few months ago he seemed like he could run for miles without breaking a sweat…

"I'm heading to save the councilor. Try to meet me there" I said to him before the channel cut out and I moved on. I headed through a doorway and saw a pair Cerberus Ops at the opposite end of the room…They hadn't spotted us yet. We hid behind the couches and seats for cover before I silently signaled to my team. I charged forward, knocking them both back and into the walls before channeling all of my shield energy into my palm. I did a slight jump before hitting the ground, sparking up a nova that killed them both.

I quickly rolled back to cover, seeing more in the room besides us. Two guardians came around the corner, me and Javik both pulled their shields from them while Garrus sniped them down. I was about to move from my cover when I heard the reeling of a turret and hit the ground. Damn engineers! I looked around for the bastard before he could set anymore. I found him walking to my right and laid a few rounds into him before ducking once more to avoid the turret's fire.

"Garrus, get that shield for me!" I called over to him.

"Way ahead of ya Shepard!" he said as I heard an electrical charge come from the turret leaving it now exposed to fire.

"Would you like me to handle this, Shepard?" Javik asked. I nodded.

"All yours" I said, seeing him take out and throw one of those pull-grenades he had. I got behind cover and braced myself. I loud explosion came along with the flying of metal and the sound of a small fire from where the turret exploded. The fire quickly died and we were able to move about freely now. I walked around, grabbing a packet of medigel before radioing Bailey.

"Cerberus troops in the lobby…They were pretty well hidden" I said reloading my gun.

"I know. I can see more through the cameras, they're all over the station" he said before cutting out. I unlocked the door and we walked through the area. I sighed a little bit. Why could Cerberus be doing this? The whole place was destroyed, nearly going up in flames…

We found ourselves in another room, combating turrets, diving through smoke bombs, jumping from cover to cover. Bailey was right these guys seemed to appear out of nowhere! The sprinklers rained down because of all of the explosions and fire. The fact that the dead C-Sec corpses on the ground were not only decaying, but now soggy as well wasn't exactly pleasant.

I added a few rounds to my gun before moving towards where the elevator was. I stopped and held a hand up to my team when I saw an engineer standing at the elevator control panel. I crept up slowly behind him and pulled out my shot gun. I launched up from under my cover, grabbing his back and throwing him to the ground with a bit of help from my biotics. I then let out two bullets from my shotgun straight down at him as he lay under my foot.

I put my shotgun back over my back and signaled for my squad members to come out. I started working on getting the elevator down to come and get us. When it came down we all got in and waited. I got out my assault rifle and cocked it at the elevator doors in case there were people awaiting us when it opened up top. We went down a hallway to what seemed to be the office areas. I paused before seeing some Cerberus troops come down from above on their jet packs.

"Up high everyone, take 'em out!" I said firing up at them, hoping to kill a few before they could reach the ground and do any real damage. I hardly ever took cover, I spent most of my time dancing around, not taking cover and narrowly avoiding their fire. I wasn't a soldier, but I didn't like sticking to cover, especially with so much open space here. It was easy to maneuver and corner them. Though, that still didn't stop Garrus from yelling at me to get my ass to cover.

I headed up the stairs to a door that leaded to the next level up. I paused and turned my back to the door while Garrus went on the other side. I nodded at Javik and he came up, punching the entrance to the door before backing up, letting me and Garrus turn out from the sides, guns at the ready. I walked in first and surveyed the room.

"Bailey, looks like they got the Executive and two Salarian bodyguards" I said, looking to see them in a heap on the ground. They really stood no chance.

"Dammit keep searching, if you don't see the councilor's body, then don't count him out yet!" he said. I nodded and looked around the room some more before seeing Garrus go to the edge of the room that was over-looking a larger area filled with chairs. I walked over next to him and looked over the area before seeing one of the chairs roll out from underneath the table. A cloaking device then flickered and the Salarian councilor stood.

Well hell I couldn't believe it! Somehow he survived that…Didn't quite know how Cerberus was able to overlook him, but then again all of the Cerberus Ops weren't near as smart or cunning as the Illusive Man. I held my omni-tool up to my mouth.

"Found him Bailey. He looks unharmed" I said then lowering my arm.

"Get him somewhere safe!" Bailey's voice sounded urgent. Of course I could understand why it was. I turned to my team and signaled them to go down first, leaving my back to the councilor. It looked like the Cerberus Ops had moved on from this area anyway. I turned back around though and gave a slightly wide eyed gasp. Some guy dressed in all leather was now advancing on the councilor! How did I not hear him! Had he been hiding too? Bah no matter I just had to get down there! Without the councilor I would have no clue what was really going on here, not to mention it would send the Citadel into further chaos.

I lifted my arm over my face and shot at the glass in front of me. It shattered and I ran forwards, leaping from the ledge and down to the ground behind the black cladded Cerberus member. In a second though, he had leapt to the other side, leaving me across from him with the councilor in-between us and my gun raised. He raised an arm and gathered a large amount of biotic energy in his palm, aiming it at the councilor.

"Don't even think about it" My eyes narrowed, my voice lower and more authorial. The councilor had his back to me.

"Shepard he's going to kill us all!" The councilor hissed to me in just above a whisper without turning his head.

"That remains to be seen" I said shrugging one shoulder a bit, not taking my eye off of the man across from me.

"Udina, you have to stop him, he's starting a Ku, he's got the other councilors and is planning to hand them over to Cerberus" he spoke low and quick. I arched an eyebrow at him not quiet understanding. Whatever was going on, I had to stop this guy first…I heard the footsteps of my other team mates come up behind me.

"It's over buddy. Three on one" I said as Javik and Garrus stood guns at the ready at my side. I heard a dark laugh come from the man.

"No…Now it's fun" he sneered before flaring up the botics in his had to kill the councilor in front of him. I quickly started to pull the trigger of my gun when out of nowhere the man turned away with a grunt. I pushed he councilor behind me to protect him and see what was going on…

It was Thane! How the hell did he get here? And how did I not see him come in? No matter I had to help. The two were going hand to hand, both dealing their fair share of punches. The man flipped Thane, but he quickly got back up and defended himself again. Thane flipped back in front of me, pulling out his gun and pointing it at him as the rest of us prepared to back him up. But just as Thane came right side up in front of us, the guy was gone. I sucked in a breath and looked around. However my eyes were not trained assassin eyes…I couldn't stop and react as quickly as Thane could.

The guy pulled out a sword and darted around the side area towards Thane who was still shooting at him. He finally appeared in front of Thane and swung his sword, Thane ducking in what seemed to be just the nick of time before swiping his feet out from beneath him. Thane then drew his hand back, gathering his biotics around his hand before punching the mysterious assassin, sending him flying across the floor. I let out the breath I had in. Good…Thane got him. I turned to make sure the councilor was safe still. Even in near death Thane could still outmatch anyone!

Thane reloaded his gun and started to walk towards him, but the assassin jumped up, grabbing his sword and stood poised in position to attack. I laid my finger on the trigger of my gun once more before Javik put his hand on my gun.

"No. Focus on protecting the councilor. These are obviously trained assassins and they will move far too fast for your bullet and your eyes…He will either dodge it or you will end up hitting your friend" he said to me. I gritted my teeth knowing he was right…I couldn't afford hurting Thane in the condition he was in, especially when I probably wouldn't even do any damage to that other guy. I nodded slightly.

Thane, upon seeing him get up, started at him, firing his gun. I could hear his breathing. He was panting more than he should be in a fight like this, he even seemed like he was winning! The other guy started towards him as well, twirling his sword. Thane jumped in the air, spinning slightly to get a clear shot at his head. But instead of hearing the shot of a gun ring out, it was the whistle of the sword cutting through the air and then a splatter that nearly made my heart stop.

Thane fell to the ground. The color drained from my face and my hand started to shake slightly. It suddenly felt hard to breath and it felt like my world was spinning before me. It didn't feel like I was standing rock solid, it felt like I was bouncing up and down, side to side. I felt like to stood there for minutes on end without breathing, when it reality it had hardly been two seconds. I came back to the situation sucking in a breath.

"THANE!" I called out. The man started to run and there was no way I wasn't shooting now, even if it was futile. I ran after him, shooting like a mad woman as he jumped from table to table, ledge to ledge and eventually started fleeing from the room all together. I got an adrenaline rush and ran after him shooting the whole time, not entirely sure if I was making the shots or not. I saw him jump off the side of the office and into the air, only to return up in front of me on top of a shuttle with a smirk. I continued to shoot at him as his shuttle started to leave and I let out a yell.

"Get back here you coward! Fight me!" I yelled panting heavily as he got down in his shuttle.

"I'll kill you!" I yelled as the door of his shuttle closed and sped off, myself still shooting at it.

"I'LL KILL YOU!" I yelled over everything that was going on at the moment, finally lowering my gun and standing there, panting heavily. It was then I realized that it wasn't just me shooting at the shuttle. I turned to see Thane behind me, leaning against the wall for support, hand clutched over the wound.

I ran to him as he turned and slid down the wall. I quickly fell on my knees and kneeled in front of him.

"How bad is it?" I asked him urgently.

"I have time…Catch him" he said to me. Even with this wound his voice still sounded steady. I looked into his eyes for a moment, I opened my mouth to say something to him but Bailey cut in from my omni-tool.

"Shepard, what's going on!" came his voice.

"Thane needs medical help fast" I started, forgetting everything else that just happened just to get that one point across. Thane looked up at me, his gaze petrous. I knew he wanted me to go stop that assassin. Even now I wasn't able to deny him.

"And I have an assassin to catch" I said standing up.

"He must be going after the rest of the council" he said.

"He is. Udina is planning to kill them all, I have to get to them" I said urgently, walking towards an empty shuttle in the room. I didn't want to leave Thane's side, but I knew this was what he wanted. And this was what I had to do.

"They're taking them towards a shuttle bay on the Presidium, start driving! I'll try to raise them on the com" he said as the shuttle door popped open.

"Thanks" I said as my squad members got in the shuttle. I paused and looked back at Thane.

"I'll be back! I won't be long, I promise! Bailey is sending medical help and you'll be fine! I'll come by to see you when-"Shepard" he interrupted me. "Go" he said with a slight nod. I stood there for a moment before turning and getting into the shuttle. We sped out of the area. I started driving towards the Presidium await Bailey's exact coordinates of the council.

"I've got a fix on the council's position, I'm sending it to your car" he said.

"Good work Bailey, we're almost there" I said. At least I knew where they were now…I kept my head clear, focused. Thane wouldn't want me to be distracted. So I had to block him from my mind until the council was safe.

We were driving along fine until I saw a figure land right on the hood of our car. I immediately recognized the assassin, who merely sneered at me before pulling out his sword and starting for the engine of our car. I shot at him again, trying to drive at the same time, but the glass of the car resisted the bullets and didn't shatter.

"Garrus, drive" I said flinging open the door and hanging out of the while shooting at the assassin who was trying to sabotage our car. He, however, was a step ahead of me, putting up a biotic field around himself blocking my bullets. I gritted my teeth as he swung his sword into the car for the final blow.

"Uh Shepard we're going down here!" Garrus' voice came from the car. I paid no mind to this at the moment and continued to shoot at the assassin who was being picked up in his own car. Dammit why couldn't I shoot him!

Our car lit on fire as we started going down fast. I cursed and got back inside the car tapping at the panels with Garrus to try and prolong our impact, getting as close to the council's location as we could. I felt the shuttle hit something and some pieces went flying off. Oh well this was just fucking great!

"Hang on everyone!" I said before the shuttle hit one more beam, the back exploding in a cloud of smoke as we crash landed in a grassy area of the Presidium. The top of the car popped open and I got out quickly, stumbling a little bit. I shook my head to clear it and I got my bearings. We were on the Presidium alright…Right in the shopping area. I made sure my team got out okay before looking forward. This place was a wreck…

"Shepard! My omni-tool shows that your car stopped..." Bailey started.

"I'm on foot now. Any luck contacting the council?" I asked, not wanting to get too in to details. There wasn't much time for that.

"Negative, the currents are dead. But we still got vital signs on the council's transponders" he said. Well at least something was going good…I might have crashed but I hadn't failed yet. Okay next order of business…

"Where are they going?" I asked getting out my gun.

"The landing pad above the Shalmar Plaza, Udina is with them. If he can get them in range of that assassin this is all over" he said, sounded pretty exasperated. I couldn't blame him; I had been on an adrenaline high this whole time. But I saved the council once…I could do it again.

"I'm on my way" Just as I responded I hear gunfire and some screams a little ways down the Presidium.

"Ready everyone we got company!" I said. I started firing at some of the assault soldiers of Cerberus, but the scope of my assault rifle was blocked by a figure flipping through it and quickly scurrying off before I could get a shot in.

"We got a Phantom! Take it out!" I shouted to the rest of my team. Cerberus Ops were easy to take down. The only things that caused them trouble were those Atlas' and the Phantoms. But surely Cerberus had more ideas up their sleeves for things we would encounter later.

Javik and Garrus focused on the Phantom while I shot down the Cerberus troops that were landing. After I had picked off all of them, I turned and charged at the Phantom, delivering the final blow and allowing us to move on.

I jumped across the side of the Presidium grounds, having to deal with a few Nemeses' on the way. We were almost to the door when two more Phantoms came out.

"Ugh! We don't have time for these damned acrobats!" I muttered, teeth clenched as I shot at them.

"They don't like to hold still do they? Javik! A little help over here!" Garrus said, taking down the barriers of one of them while Javik lifted them into the air. I smirked a bit.

"Easier?" Garrus asked, now dealing with the other one.

"Much" I responded, able to take it out quicker now. I remembered the biotic combos I used to pull the collectors…Thane and Jack came with me on most all my missions, and with so much biotic power on the team our enemies would spend more time helplessly flying through the air than actually trying to kill us. I smirked a bit at the thought of that.

We continued on, going around the burnt and blown up parts of the Presidium, trying to avoid the small flames and explosions going on. The Citadel just got cleaned up too…Least it would be a bit of a wake-up call if anything for the people here.

I climbed over one of the ledges and radioed Bailey.

"I am at Shalmar Plaza…Where is the council now?" I asked before hearing some gun shots and taking cover. I waited a few moments before I started shooting, still paying attention to what Bailey had to say.

"They're in the elevator trying to get up to the shuttle now…Someone is following them. Someone with a sword" he said. The moment he said that my irritability level went straight up and I let out a frustrated noise.

"GREAT!" I said shooting at the Cerberus Ops in front of me. How could this situation get any-…I stopped my thoughts due to a loud rumble and a rocket zooming straight past the place where I was taking cover. An Atlas. Oh perfect.

"Stick to cover everyone!" I shouted.

"Oh you're one to talk, Shepard" Garrus said jokingly, throwing a mine out at the Atlas. I smirked a little and rolled my eyes.

"Let's just take this thing down. According to Bailey our assassin is right on the Council's trail" I said. Javik glared his eyes.

"Then we have no time to lose!" Javik said pulling out four of his grenades. Garrus waved his arm and took down the shield of the Atlas to half before Javik threw his grenades. I quickly ducked for cover as all four exploded, sending pieces of the Atlas flying everywhere. The place where the Atlas stood previously was now ablaze, crackling, and spitting out remnants of the Atlas along with small embers.

"Well…I guess that's one way to do it" I muttered heading towards the elevator.

"We are in a rush. I took the necessary course of action" Javik shrugged. We walked towards the elevator to see only the top of an elevator.

"Uh Bailey…"I started.

"Get on. You'll be able to shoot the electrical boxes on the Council's elevator and slow them down. Then you can beat them to the top and deal with whoever is waiting for them. Hang on this is gonna be a bumpy ride" he said. I nodded as me and my team stepped on the top of the elevator.

The elevator started with a jolt and we all lost our balance for a moment before standing up straight, getting used to the speed.

"Please tell me that assassin hasn't reached the Council" I said, deciding that I should check up on the progress of our little friend.

"He's trying, but I am making his elevator stop on every floor" he responded. I chuckled slightly.

"Nice!" I said looking around the elevator shaft. I saw an elevator stopped and smirked. Yes! We caught up to him! Now it was just an elevator race…

"Hey I found him!" I said.

"Shoot his elevator! There's a power box on the bottom of it!" he said. I readied my assault rifle.

"You two get the one on the right, I got this one!" I said. My squad nodded and we all fired as we passed making both of the boxes explode.

"Good riddance!" Garrus said with a nod. I smirked.

"You're telling me!" I said. Still we weren't in the clear yet. No way was Cerberus going to make this elevator ride an easy one.

"Incoming Phantoms!" And I was always right.

"It's a small space everyone, take 'em out fast and don't let 'em get near us" I said shooting at them. We took them out pretty quickly, mostly just by knocking them off of the elevator all together. We accelerated even faster before I finally caught sight of another elevator.

"That's the Council, Shepard! Jump!" I heard Bailey's voice and leapt from our elevator to theirs, my team quickly following. I then heard bullets come from inside of the elevator and up at me. I dodged them and rolled to the size. Ugh of course they thought I was the enemy! Their elevator stopped and I figured they were getting out now. I kicked at the vent at the top of the elevator until it popped off and we went through. I ran out, gun at the ready.

There was the council, Udina included, and then there was…Kaiden? The shuttle behind them was on fire…This was it, it was only a matter of time before that assassin got here and there was no escape now.

"…Shepard?" Kaiden lowered his gun slightly. Udina of course jumped up to defend himself.

"Shepard's blocking our escape! She's with Cerberus…" he said glaring at me as Kaiden moved in front of him, raising his gun again.

"Everybody just….Just hang on. Shepard, what's happening here?" Kaiden said, it seemed like he was going to give me the benefit of the doubt. Well hell he better! I saved his life…And after all of the doubt and disrespect he had for me over the past year, hell, he better make up for it now.

"Kaiden…C'mon you know me better than this…" I started.

"I knew the old Shepard! Before Cerberus….Right now I am not sure who I'm dealing with" He said. Oh hell no! Not this shit again! We didn't have time for this…Even after everything he still didn't trust me. What would I have to do that I wasn't some Cerberus puppet! I glared before closing my eyes and letting out a slight growl. I lifted my arm and lowered my gun, a sign for the others to do the same. I stood up straight.

"Goddammit Kaiden…We don't have time to negotiate. You've been fooled, all of you! Udina's behind this attack…" I paused and walked towards Kaiden.

"The Salarian Councilor confirmed it" I said. The Turian and Asari councilor looked at each other and started to step forward. Udina started towards me angrily.

"You have no proof! You never do!" he said. I let out an angered groan and drew in a sharp breath, my voice becoming more low and serious.

"There are Cerberus soldiers in the elevator shaft behind us. If you open that door they'll kill you all" I said. The Asari councilor stepped up.

"We've mistrusted Shepard before and it did not help us!" She said. Finally…FINALLY they saw how big of fools they had been! Udina was starting to become flustered, his plan was found out. It was over now.

"We don't have time to negotiate, we can't stay out here…I'm over riding the lock" he said walking towards the elevator panel. I raised my gun to shoot him, but Kaiden met me with his. He sighed.

"I'm going to regret this…" he muttered before lowering his gun and turning to Udina.

"No. You're not" I assured him. He just shook his head and raised his gun at Udina.

"Udina! Step away from the console!" He said. Udina became more flustered and started typing rapidly.

"To hell with this!" he hissed through his teeth. The lock on the door turned from red to orange…Fuck, someone had to do something or it would be a blood bath!

The Asari Councilor walked towards him, but he threw her to the ground the moment she made contact. He moved away from the console and pointed his gun at her while she tried to scramble away from him.

"He's got a gun!" Kaiden yelled. I rolled my eyes. No shit Sherlock. I paused holding my gun, my hand on the trigger but…Stopped. What would it prove if I killed him? I had to see that Kaiden really trusted my judgment here…I waited a moment longer before I heard the fire of Kaiden's gun and Udina fall to the ground, dead. I turned to see the door being cut open with the heat of an omni-tool.

"Shit…"I muttered, all of us flocking to the door, guns at the ready. I was just about to fire when I was greeted with a barrel of a gun, whose holder was very familiar.

"Bailey!" I said lowering my gun.

"Ah well it looks like you have things sorted out Shepard…And good news, when Cerberus heard we were coming with reinforcements they fled to the Keeper tunnels. And Councilors…If you aren't aware, I believe Shepard just saved your lives. Again" Bailey stated crossing his arms. The Turian councilor turned to me.

"You saved my life twice now Shepard…I owe you both a personal debt and the debt of Palavan" he said. As much as I just wanted to scold them and be harsh with them…I couldn't.

"You don't owe me anything…It's in times like these that we all need to stick together" I said. Divided we would all fall…I had to try to and prove to them once and for all that we all had to work together. It was silent for a moment before the Turian Councilor sighed.

"Shepard…Do you have any idea why Cerberus would do this?" he asked. I shook my head.

"No…I don't. But I plan to find out" I nodded. There was another silence to be broken by Bailey.

"Alright everyone let's get a move on. We have about a hundred more places to secure and wounded to get to Huerta Hospital" he said turning to go. I went to follow but stopped, everything hitting like a ton of bricks…Wounded…Thane…

"Bailey! Did you get to Thane?" I asked. Now that the Councilors were safe I could focus on what was really eating away at me. He nodded.

"Yeah but it doesn't look good…Head on down to the hospital Shepard" he said. I nodded and ran towards the nearest elevator. I had to make it to Thane…He said he would hold out…That he had time. And I told him that I would be back…

I twiddled my thumbs in the elevator. I wanted to just run through the area and find Thane, but when the doors opened…There were bodies everywhere. Wounded, sick, healing, unconscious…The hospital was over run. I carefully stepped over all of the patients making my way into the surgical ward. I ran to the very back where a man stood with a data pad.

"I am looking for the Drell by the name of Thane Krios" I said panting a bit.

"Well uh….We have a Drell by not by that name" he scrolled through the bad.

"He was injured, stab wound. He's a regular patient here for Kepral's" I said. I wasn't wanting to try and explain Thane to this guy I just needed to know where he was!

"Whoa, whoa, it's alright. I see…" he started walking and I followed him.

"The doctors were able to relieve most of the trauma, however mister uh…Krios is in the final stage of Kepral's Syndrome-"Please I-….I know. Just can you take me to hi-"It's better that you know the facts before going in. He lost a lot of blood. And we did find a blood type match to his but at this point his body wouldn't even be able to transfer oxygen to those new cells…" he said.

"The only match is his son, and he is in there now with him…We've done all we can. Kolyat is in there now saying his goodbyes…You should do the same" he said before walking away.

I stood there, dumbfounded. I was pale again, my mouth dry as I stood outside of the door. My shoulders fell and I drug my hand down my face. No I wasn't supposed to say goodbye to him like this! He has at least a few more months…He wasn't supposed to die here, I-I was going to take him to the desert; we were both going to go there! I was going to bring him food and I would tell him about all of my recent adventures…

He wasn't supposed to go in some stuffy hospital room with a stab wound, he was supposed to be somewhere peaceful, where he was comfortable. Where we both would be ready and okay with it, where I would be holding his hand laying at his side talking to him the whole time until we both fell asleep. That was the way that I always pictured this happening…Not like this…

I walked through the door to see Kolyat standing over his father, my lover. Was it always like this? Remembering all the things you had to tell a person before they died? I had spent weeks talking to him, telling him everything, pouring my heart out to him, laughing and smiling. Yet it felt like I hadn't told him anything for years…

Kolyat turned to me slowly, his face stained with tears.

"Shepard…I knew it was only a matter of time until you showed up…" he said to me. His voice was soft, sad. My body felt heavy, my heart even heavier I walked up towards him. I only nodded at Kolyat. My throat still felt dry. I wasn't even sure if I could speak.

"I…I came to donate blood and well…He asked me to take off his oxygen mask so he could…Be more comfortable. I don't think it will be very long" he said. I looked down for a moment.

"He's…Your dad is a hero…He saved a lot of lives" I slowly nodded before walking to his side.

"Siha…" Thane blinked up at me and coughed off to the side for a moment.

"I am afraid…I won't be joining you again" he said. I stood there for a moment, unaware that I was shaking.

"No...Thane you've done more than enough" I felt like I was choking on something, like my throat was constricted to just a millimeter wide.

"Heh…That assassin should be embarrassed…Stopped from reaching his target by a terminally ill Drell" he chuckled lightly before going into another coughing fit. It took all of my energy to pull up the corners of my mouth even slightly.

"I'll pass the word along" I said with a small smile, but there was no disguising how I truly felt behind it. It faltered after a moment and I took in a shaky breath. He moved a quivering hand up to my face, lightly brushing the strands of hair on the side of my face. It was only when his fingers made contact did I realize that my cheeks were wet. I had always been a silent crier, but never so much that I didn't realize when I was crying…

"Be strong my warrior priestess…" he coughed a bit.

"I...I call you that for a reason. Do not let my death hinder you" he said before he started coughing again. It took me a moment to respond.

"It won't" I said, my voice was softer, but it was steady, unshaking. He smiled up at me, letting his hand fall slightly. I took it in my own and laced my fingers with his, putting two of my fingers together to mimic the shape of his hand, like we always did.

"Siha. I love you" He smiled at me, his big black eyes glistening up at me.

"I love you too, Thane" I replied, my heart was heavy. It felt like someone was sticking pins and needles all over my body again and again, that some kind of monster was slowly ripping, tearing at my heart. He looked away from me and up at the ceiling.

"There is something I must do I must-" He stopped and went into a coughing fit before laying back. I squeezed his hand lightly as he started to speak.

"Kallahera, mistress of inscrutable depths. I ask forgiveness. Kallahera whose waves break down stone and sand-" He was cut off once more by his coughing…It wasn't stopping this time. I stood there for a moment, feeling helpless. I couldn't make this stop…

"Kallahera…" I heard Kolyat's voice start.

"Wash the sins from this one. And set him on the distant shore of the infinite spheres" he spoke then looking up. Thane eventually stopped coughing and smiled at his son.

"Kolyat…you speak as the priests do…You've been spending time with them" he smiled. Kolyat nodded in return. He walked over to my side.

"I…I brought a prayer book. Commander….Would you care to join me?" he asked. I swallowed hard before nodding. I looked down at Thane who was still smiling at me…He would always look at me if I was something wonderful, a goddess, something to be beheld and admired. Even now he still did.

"Kallahera, this one's heart is pure, but beset by wickedness and contemptuousness" he said before looking over at me. I took my eyes from Thane and looked at the book, looking for the line of where he left off.

"Guide this one to where the traveler never tires, the lover never leaves, the hungry never starve. Guide this one, Kallahera, and she will be a companion to you as she was to me" I said, my voice soft. I looked up from the book as I finished to see Thane turn away from me. I was expecting him to cough but…I let out a breath.

"Thane?" I spoke out. His hand was limp in mine and I bit my lip. I folded his hands over one another on his chest and reached a hand over, placing my thumb and index finger on his eyelids and closing them. I stood back with Kolyat.

"Kolyat…There is something I don't understand…Why at the end of the prayer did it say 'she'?" I asked turning towards him.

"The prayer was not for him, Commander. He has already asked for forgiveness for the lives he has taken. His wish was for you" he said. I nodded slowly. I was touched, but not surprised. Thane only wanted to the best for me, he always did …He just further proved that now.

"Goodbye Thane….I'll see you across the sea" I said, even though I knew that he could no longer hear me. I stood up straight, wiping my eyes and face quickly before lightly patting my hands against me cheeks to get the color back into them. There was no trace that I had been crying other than my pale face. And people could assume that was due to anything.

"Thank you, Kolyat. If you ever need anything…You can call me" I said to him. This was Thane's son…And I wanted to make sure he was well looked after.

"You too, Commander" he said. We shook hands and I breathed out facing the door, then walked out.

I went to the highest up level of the Presidium even though it was forbidden and sat there to watch the sunset. They were cleaning up the Citadel, putting out fires and what not…It wasn't the most peaceful sight. But that sunset…It was orange, red, yellow, pink, and purple…I understood why Thane wanted to look outside in his final moments. I wouldn't mind this being the last thing I saw either.

A breeze went through the air. For a Citadel destroyed I felt oddly calm…Almost at peace. The breeze whipped back my hair and I heard a light jingle down at my feet. I saw the anklet with the seashell on it jingling very softly in the breeze. I smiled softly and looked up at the sky again.

"You have company now Mordin…Look after each other. I'll be there soon" I said up to the sky.

I then left the area and went back doing to the docking bay. I looked around myself to see people on the phone, crying, panicked, and telling stories of what just happened. Some were looking to me, they knew who I was, and they were looking at me like they wanted me to do something about this madness.

But instead I surveyed all of their faces once more, before turning away and boarding the Normandy.


End file.
